redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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