About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
