He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
