I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
