We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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