FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
