are you so shy because you have an std?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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