I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
