Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
