I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize