Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
