I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
