i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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