im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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