i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
