Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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