You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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