just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
