im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize