I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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