Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
