theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
