Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This is my gift to your gina
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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