I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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