OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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