I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
