protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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