Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."