just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
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I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money