I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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