I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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