I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
