No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
