woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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