I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
