I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You pole danced in your parka.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
