Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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