I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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