I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
