STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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