I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
