Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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