I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
