WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
