Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
