yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
