you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
