it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
