Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
