Me too!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we made out on top of his cat.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
