If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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