I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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