Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
