Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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