Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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